Having debt isn’t the end of the world. But in order to get out of debt, you have to be proactive. Be lazy and you’ll stay in debt. You always have a choice. Stay in debt or get out of debt. Here is a satirical look at how not to pay off debt.
Open new credit cards. Getting a free T-shirt, umbrella, or a one time discount is a great perk for filling out a form! Aren’t they generous? Who cares if the free gift has the company logo on it? You enjoy being a walking advertisement for their product. Who cares if every credit card account that you open goes onto your credit report. Who cares if having a brand new credit card lowers your FICO score?
Don’t read the fine print. You don’t like to read long credit card or loan agreements. You only want to sign on the dotted line. You trust the loan officer or customer service person when they tell you that you are getting a good deal, even though they are being paid to say that. You only care that your minimum payment or interest is lower even if it’s only temporary.
Let your bills pile up. Don’t look at your bills. If you don’t know what you owe, they don’t exist, right?
Be clueless about the exact amount you owe and the interest rate of each debt. You make an educated guess and think you owe $5,000. But in reality, it’s really $8,000. You were off by $3,000. Oops! You could come up with a better strategy to pay off debt if you knew the principal amount and interest rate of each debt. But you don’t want to know because you don’t really want to admit that you are in debt. You like lying to yourself.
Keep using credit cards that carry a balance. Can’t pay off your credit cards every month? Keep using them because you’ll be slapped with finance charges every time you make a new purchase. Credit card companies will love you since they make so much money off of you.
Take out a loan. Want to get deeper into debt? Take out a high interest loan online. Why not trust Gary Coleman or Montel Williams to sell you the best loan in a radio or TV commercial? After all, you can trust them, can’t you? They have your best interest at heart since they are being paid a lot money to tell you that this is the best loan and it will solve all of your problems. The interest rates are through the roof right right now since a lot of people are borrowing money. You’ll pay off credit cards with this loan but incur a higher interest rate than all of your credit cards combined! You like being ripped off.
Don’t set a budget or cut expenses. Budgets are boring and restrictive. You’re a free spirit. You want to buy things as you please, even if you don’t need them. Who wants to know that they could get a better deal on their cell phone, cable/internet, or car insurance? You like wasting money.
Don’t have a debt repayment plan. You’re too lazy to create a debt repayment plan. You enjoy being in debt. Everything will work out eventually on its own, won’t it?
Pay only the minimum balance. You don’t want to give the credit cards any more of your money. That’s why you only pay the minimum balance. You’ll pay for your credit cards for a long time after you’ve made the purchases. But it’s okay because you’re only paying $50 a month.
Redeem credit card offers. Credit card companies love you! They keep sending you special offers to open more credit cards, since you have been such a great customer. Credit card companies tell you that you are a valued customer even though you haven’t paid anything off. They want you to have more money to spend. How thoughtful of them!
Don’t learn about personal finance. You don’t care to learn anything about how to manage your money or debt. It’s too hard to understand. But you’ve already broken this rule by reading this blog!
Rely on others to give you advice about your money. You don’t know much about how to invest your money. That’s why you hire a financial advisor to help you invest your money. Even though celebrities have lost a lot of money by trusting someone to invest their money, it’s ok. You would rather trust someone else to handle your money than trust yourself.
Give up. You figure that you’ll never pay off your debt. You are too depressed and overwhelmed. You think you are the only one who has ever been in debt. If you read personal finance blogs, you’ll know that almost every personal finance blogger has been in debt and have dug themselves out of it. Dave Ramsey is a great example. He had it all – a $250,000/yr salary, a nice sportscar, wife, and a house. When the real estate market changed, he owed $1.2 million. During that tough time, he lost everything except for his house. He had to sell his nice sportscar that he thought he deserved. His marriage was strained.
Know that you are not alone and you will get out of debt one day. Change your attitude and you will change your situation.